In the spirit of Trafalgar and with the gusto only worthy of His Majesty’s Royal Navy, the St Paul’s community gathered on the 31st of January 2025 for a rollicking evening of maritime merriment. With sails unfurled and cannons (metaphorically) blazing, four plucky teams took to the stage, each determined to emerge victorious—battling not just against each other but the capricious gusts of fate.
The evening kicked off with a vessel recognition contest, ranging from grand old sailing ships to the luxurious *Christina O*. Whispers abounded that Tim Morley, ever the nautical purist, disputed any association of luxury yachts with the gritty spirit of Trafalgar.
Next came the field gun replica building—a sight to stir the spirits of even the saltiest sea dogs. Team Scallywag’s design was a triumph, so ingenious that sketches were reportedly dispatched to the Admiralty faster than you could shout “splice the mainbrace!” Rumour has it a few of their innovations may be seen gracing His Majesty’s newest frigates, pending compliance with health and safety regulations, of course.
The knot-tying segment was as tense as a tightly wound bowline. Although the church warden displayed knottery of near-legendary proficiency, Vanessa Evans, under the tutelage of Matelot Harry Bearn, delivered a performance so dexterous it could tie a monkey’s fist with one hand and serve tea with the other.
As the evening sailed on, the moment arrived for the much-anticipated Field Gun Trial. With Lord Nelson’s shorter, but equally commanding look-a-like overseeing from the quarterdeck, the crews showcased their craftsmanship and derring-do. Commander Tim Morley’s Team Hardy Hamilton pushed through with Victorian resolve, while Commander Ian Petts’s Scallywag contraption sprinted triumphantly to the finish, embodying the suave engineering of a naval Duesenberg. Alas, Commander Andreas Evans’s German-engineered marvel faced a dramatic break at the first obstacle, but courageously limped to the end with the determination of a dachshund on deck.
Special mention to Team NQLU for their creatively audacious (and utterly dubious) addition of sails to their field gun. A touch of scepticism clung to the nautical embellishment, yet sail or no sail, their cannon fired true.
The grand finale unfolded with the heartwarming roar of sea shanties. Team A tackled their piece with a call-and-answer style that would’ve made a boatswain blush, while Team B, led by the musical might of Matelot Harry, delighted with unforeseen lyrical improvisations courtesy of Commander Ian Petts, proving that creativity on the high seas knows no bounds.
Judgment was rendered by the luminous Felicity, Musical Belle of St Paul’s, adorned with grace and charm that could launch a thousand ships. She weighed in with a verdict: 16 points to Team A and a triumphant 18 to Team B.
As the evening waned, Felicity serenaded the assembly with *Rule Britannia*, stirring every heart and ensuring that everyone went home humming the tune, if not dressed in full admiralty regalia.
And thus concluded the Bearn’s Trafalgar Night—a testament to camaraderie, ingenuity, and the unwavering spirit of Trafalgar, taming the currents of history with laughter and song. Here’s to next year, when the sea calls us to new adventures!
